The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Most people come into psychotherapy because there is at least one thing happening in their lives that is either dramatically acute and distressing, beyond intolerable or intensely chronically irritating.  Seldom do people come to share the good, and therefore therapists certainly have a slice of life’s perspective that slants to the negative or the difficult.  What’s left out of good therapy (for the client and therapist) is very often the good experiences that may be large and life changing, or small and momentary.  We can begin to think that what’s therapeutic is dealing with the dark and difficult side of our lives.

Of great benefit to us as we seek a balance in our lives, is paying attention to the good as well.  Speaking of the good.  Sharing the good moments.  Not as a way to obscure the more painful and difficult sides of life, but of balancing and sharing the dynamic fullness of our experience of being a sentient creature on the planet.  As well, sometimes the challenge of sharing and expressing the good can begin to shift our inner dialogue just a hair as we challenge our depression, anxiety or generalized personal narrative that feeds our identity as a “sick” person, or a “depressed” person, etc.  We can begin to unhinge the internal narrative and become a person who can touch all the dimensions of life; the good, the bad and the ugly.  We can slowly come to identify with the “observer” that is not swallowed up by only some of the aspects of our lives.

Additionally, in working with patients suffering from chronic pain, one of the missing ingredients is often the ability or willingness to focus on the parts of the body that feel good.  The pain and discomfort becomes the most noticed part of one’s experience.  Simple shifts in focus toward the healthy, open and easy parts of one’s physiology can begin to balance our experience of the body as “always in pain” and bring in a broader perspective.

TRY:  Share with a trusted other a lowlight of your day AND a highlight of your day.  See what it’s like to be heard in BOTH.

TRY THIS TOO:  Scan through your body experience and find the most comfortable part of your body and pay some attention to it for 30 seconds.