It’s all about YOU

That’s a lot of responsibility!  And a lot of self-centered narcissism?  What is meant by this, “it’s all about you”, is that each situation in our lives must be approached with this simple focus.  What can I do?  How can I think about this situation that leads to resolution, health, joy or peace?  Often times we are quite unaware of inner workings, spending so much time caught up with just how much others should change, how they should be different, how they have done wrong.  We spend so little time noticing the ways we contribute to the dynamics and situations with which we struggle and contend.  We hide from ourselves just how much our attitude and thinking affect the way others engage with us.  We deny our personal responsibility and sit in the righteous judge’s seat, doling out the right and wrong of everything and everyone.  We spend too much time believing our judgments and interpretations, deifying the feelings that are produced and too little time investigating how we are being in any given moment or encounter.

A parent who continues to harp on a bothersome behavior of their child does not tend to believe that their attitude, and the way they therefore treat the child, affects how the child feels, relates to themselves and therefore continues their behavior.  If my child is loud and I don’t like it, what shall I do?  Demand they change?  By asking over and over?  By becoming angry, irritated, critical?  Will that style help the child become self aware and choiceful about their loud voice?  It is more likely that they will change when they choose to, and in the meantime the parent would do better find a way to greet this reality with grace and openness.  Perhaps they can use their mind to see the good in the child’s loud voice, the power within, the confidence projected.

TRY: Notice what kind of thoughts lead you to irritation, frustration or judgement.  Don’t let the “other” be the cause of your feelings and thoughts.  Compassionately, take responsibility for how you make the situation difficult, through your thinking, speech or action.